Friday, December 14, 2012

Not related to lung transplant...but had to post

Today 26 people were killed - 18 were children under the age of 10 - in Conneticut this morning in what the news is calling one of the worst school massacres in this nation's history.

Please indulge me for a moment here - for I am pissed.

First of all - it sends me into a BLIND FREAKIN RAGE at the thought of someone doing this to children. The killings of the adult victims are no less tragic by ANY means...but children? Really?

What in the HELL could a child EVER do that could make you so angry that you saw fit to SLAUGHTER them??? I mean these are DEFENSELESS children. And don't get me started on the mental scars left on the ones who survived!

Apparently the gunman was a 20 year old man. 20 years old. WHAT IN THE WORLD happened to you that mad you decide that gunning down a school full of babies was the best way to get your revenge. Un-freaking-believable. Have too many hair pulls when you were 5? Someone call you a sissy and you never got over it? Ahhh I was wedgies right? It always come back to underwear up your butt.

I don't understand the minds of people. The rage, the desire to hurt innocent people. I mean not that its any better, but why not focus on the people who ACTUALLY hurt you? I mean I am not promoting revenge in anyway, but it just seems more rational atleast. John Smith hurt me - I hurt John Smith; not John Smith hurt me, I think I'll go take out little Cindy, Johnny, Jenny and Dan over at the local elementary school.

All I can say is this - there's a special place in Hell for people who hurt children. And its a goooood thing that man was found already dead. I can't imagine him getting too far if he'd lived. I know I'd join the hunt. I'm pretty sure that's one lethal injection I'd gladly sign up to administer.

I know...I get a little dark when I'm pissed...especially when my anger is triggered by someone hurting children.

And I'm not even a huge fan of kids. I love my neices don't get me wrong. I'm pretty good about tolerating most children, but I'm just not one of those mothering types. Wasn't ever really. I've gotten a lot better since I became an aunt, but still...just not a big "kid person."

But let me tell you something. I will lose my shit entirely if EVER anyone so much as looked at my nieces the wrong way. And the things I would do to someone if they ever HURT one of them...well, I won't go there. I might scare you away and that's not my intent.


Secondly - the families. These poor families. To have a child ripped from your life in such a horrific way - especially here at Christmas - is beyond anything I can even concieve. The mothers and fathers, who have spent the last few weeks buying and wrapping gifts for them - some just as exciting to have their child open them as the kids are - are left to do what now? Leave them under the tree? Pass them out amongst your other children (assuming that child lost wasn't their one and only child)? Give them away? And who is gonna be in charge of THAT?! The people who, instead of organizing activities and Christmas eve services for their families and now organizing a funeral for their child? And for those who have other school age children living - how do you convince them to go back to school, knowing that's where, instead of feeling safe, cared for and protected, they will be scared to death. Images of masked gunmen appearing in the door ways, expecting any loud bag - even if its just a locker door slamming loudly -to be the last sound you hear? Images of bloodied children and teachers lyin on the floor of their school...

I don't think you could convince me to go back thats for sure.

These thoughts are just a very VERY few that are haunting me right now.

Today is not a good day people. My mind is not a pretty place to be right now.

I hope this tragedy doesn't detract from what we all know to be the Reason for the Season. His name is Jesus and He is just as appalled by what has happened today - even more so even - than we are. I can imagine that despite my dark and somewhat dangerous mind set right now, He knows my heart. And while He might be a little wary of even that right now, I don't think He blames me for my anger. I'm gonna be workin hard to get passed this in the next few days, and He is gonna hafta help me on that front for sure. I just hope I simmer down sooner than later, cause I WILL NOT let this damper my spirit and my gratefulness that I am ALIVE this Christmas and feeling the best I have in over a decade. No matter what has happened - He has been gracious with me. The least I can do is remember Him, and celebrate His birthday with a joyful heart, rather than one shrouded in anger.

So pray for me people. I'm gonna need all the help I can get on that one.

And please remember the families and victims of this senseless tragedy in your thoughts and prayers. They are gonna need even more than me. And that's sayin something...

Love & Prayers to you all -- Erin xoxo


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