Well, today is the day.
One year - how INSANE IS THAT?
Today I spent a lot of time going over this day one year ago. I've been reading over my posts from this moment and through my initial hospitalization and subsequent discharge. The transformation in the life that took place at that time and is chronicled through those posts is INSANITY. The 180 degree shift was over and done so quick that if I hadn't committed to this blog, I think I'd hardly remember anything at all from it a year later!
So many beautiful notes and texts, calls and messages have been sent my way today. I realized quickly that Im not the only one celebrating this day - which honestly floors me. My support system through this has been like none other, and nothing like I ever anticipated.
Let's be honest - I've never been the easiest person to get along with, much less LIKE, so the fact that so many people care is just nuts to me.
But man am I grateful. More than you'll ever know - more than I'll ever be able to express.
I'm a little emotionally drained for today. Turns out this much love is exhausting :)
This wont be a long post for those reasons, but I do want to say this::
God is amazing. He truly is. If you don't believe so, take sometime and re-read this blog from start to finish. If you don't truly come away in complete awe of my Jesus than, well Im not sure what to say. Sorry, but its true. This blog started as a way to keep friends and family in the loop. Something I honestly did out of laziness - I didn't want to have to repeat myself to everyone. How pathetic is that? But it has become so much more than a blog about ME and what I have gone through. Cause lets be clear - none of this was EVER ABOUT ME. It was always - always - about Him. About showing the world that He is faithful to those who put their faith in Him. That He will show up BIG and BEAUTIFUL in the most epic and perfect way, EVERY TIME. You don't have to be perfect - cause man, He KNOWS how incredibly UNPERFECT I am - always have been. I have always been a far cry from someone you would refer to as a "good example". But that right there proves my point. He doesn't pick and choose based on deeds, or money, or who YOU THINK you are. He is faithful because of LOVE. An unconditional, die-for-you, all about you kinda LOVE. And if HE IS FOR US WHO CAN BE AGAINST US? Nobody and nothing. Not pain or disease - He will deliver you from that in the most precious and intense way possible. Cause He is who He is. The great I AM.
BOOM BABY. I freakin love this mess.
Its a hard thing to get your mind wrapped around. One person dies, one lives because he died. Joy and pain. You can't have one without the other it seems. But in the great, big, beautiful, eternal story - it all comes out Joy. For me and for my donor. For my family and his. He may not know it - his family may not know it yet - but this story, these choices, these lives...they have both been gearing up for is moment. To be able to use us both, that our lives are intertwined forever and both point directly to Him.
Aren't the parallels here crazy? There are tons of parallels in the Bible that point to someone's sacrifice for someone else out of love. Never in such an eternal way as Jesus' sacrifice for us but you can see it can't you? This man died - not FOR ME necessarily. I mean we don't know each other. He would have never been able to guess who was saved because of him. But because he chose organ donation, one selfless choice - he saved my life. My life here in Earth has been given a second chance because of the person he was and what he knew to be the right thing. Because he wanted to be a change for someone. He was certainly a change for me. He saved my human life. And because he did, I can tell you know that he also saved my eternal life. Cause there is no better way to figure out where your heart really lies than to give your self and your life over to Jesus and let him take over the arrangements. He used this man and his kind heart to change mine. And to both - ill never be more grateful.
A story like ours can only be possible because of a God like Him. It's too perfect, even through the pain and the heartache, to be conceived by anyone but Jesus. Man isn't that smart or creative to construct such an overwhelming story. We just aren't. We are frivolous, silly humans barely capable of doing more than eating, sleeping, and wanting more than we deserve. None of us have the capacity to create in LOVE like this. And my donor and I are no one special. There have been thousands - MILLIONS - of stories like ours through history. Jesus does WORK. With even the least of us. Believe me.
Well, that's prolly gonna hafta be it for now. One year down - here's to many more to come. Thank you Jesus. Take care of my friend up there.
BIG LOVE XOXO