Things are finally startin to wind down...

So the last couple weeks have been good overall. Same ol, same ol with Mayo - solid appointments, everything still looking good. Cardiopulmonary rehab is winding down...got the word last week that I am progressing wonderfully and that as soon as I complete one more education class (Oct 24) I will have completed my CPR requirements and will be able to get the go ahead when its time for me to head home. Spoke with my transplant coordinator and she assured me that assuming everything stays as good as its been, there shouldn't be any reason to keep me here past Nov 2 (the day of my last scheduled appointment)!

You can't even begin to understand how ready I am to get back home. I am ready to get back to a normal life -- whatever that is for me! I have some plans I wanna start putting into action, but I'll leave those ideas for another day. And I know my mom is ready to get home. Being away from my Dad and all hasnt been easy but she's been awesome through this and I can't even begin to thank her enough for being here with me through all this. I'm not gonna know what to do with myself when she leaves!

The moving back to Orlando bit is gonna be a PROCESS. We are having some professionals come in a do a clean of the air ducts and vents in our house as well as a DEEP clean before I can move back in. My cleaning capabilities are somewhat limited right now, and I need a super clean environment to move back to. I'm also thinking about the possibility of having a cleaning service come in once a month to do a deep clean on a regular basis. I can do some basic cleaning, but I can't breathe in the dust and chemicals I'd encounter while trying to thoroughly clean the house, so that's gonna be something I have to figure out in the next few weeks. It'll depend on the cost, and obviously funds are limited with Chris having been out of work for almost three full months. The donations and gifts we have recieved have seriously kept our bills paid up and we are SOOO grateful to everyone who has been so generous to us during this time. You have serious kept us from being stressed to the max and that is SO important for me right now. So, THANK YOU - THANK YOU - THANK YOU!!

So anyway, I am working on getting a duct cleaning service and a housekeeping services scheduled as soon as possible. I won't be able to do the cleaning until I get the ducts/vents done so we'll most likely be in Jax for a few extra days after I am "let go." And don't even get me started with packing this place up and moving it all back!! I HATE moving -- I truly HATE it. My OCD goes into severe overdrive. Everything has to be packed in plastic containers with lids that latch. This way I can see into every box, the are easier to carry because they aren't crazy shapes and they have handles to hang on to, and when loading them into the moving van they stack nicely because they are the same shape and size and they sit on top of each other nicely. I like things neat and organized and those liquor boxes and random packing boxes just don't cut it. I also have this thing with making schedules on moving day and get VVEEERRRRRYYY flustered when things get off schedule. Its crazy I know. I was so glad I didn't hafta be there for the move DOWN. But that didn't stop me from making a schedule for Chris, Kellyn and my cousin Joel. As well as multiple lists of the items I needed, broken down into what rooms they were in and a brief description if needed. If you think thats bad that was NOTHING compared to what I was GOING to do, had I had more time. I didn't get a chance to make my itemized list with picture references and descriptions, along with going through the house and marking each item with color coded post-it notes. Whew...even typing that wears me out!

Lord, I do like a tangent don't I?!

Back to things that matter...we have had a nice last couple weeks - sorry I haven't been better are posting. Ever since my workout restrictions have been listed I've been pretty sore and tired from workin out so hard. I'm tryin not to overdo it, but I can't help it. When you haven't been able to workout in ten years, you sorta feel like you gotta make up for lost time!

Other than working out, I had some fun times with Kellyn, Mom, Chris and Mabree the other weekend. Kellyn came to Jax with my sweet neice for the first time since my surgery. It was soooo great to see them! I had missed them both, but especially my girl Mabree. She is so funny and I have so much fun playing with her. I got a chance to really play and run around with her for the FIRST time that weekend. When she was young it was no big deal that I couldn't  run around and be active with her, well, because she was immobile. But as she's gotten older, she has proven to be a girl with no STOP button. She is wide open and I love that about her, but it was getting increasingly difficult for she and I to really play much. I honestly just couldn't keep up. And the more oxygen I was needing throughout the day just made it that much harder. But the weekend she was here in Jax, I seriously had a ball! I could finally keep up with a three year old....LOL how pathetic is that?

 

We went to TJ Maxx and looked around (its Mab's favorite store...love that we have a little Maxanista - momma's teachin her well!! LOL). We also took Kell and Mabs down to my favorite farmers market/art market here in Jax - the Riverside Arts Market (or RAM, as its referred to here). Its a great market right on the river and has tons of vendors selling hundreds of different craft and art, local farmers with fresh produce, homemade jerky, local honey, handmade spice blends and lots of other specialty food items; facepainting, a gymnastics course, balloon animal guy and a crafts tent for the kiddos, live music, dancers, and DOZENS of food vendors with lots of creative and tastey dishes from latin to southern to greek and italian to stuff I don't really recognize. Its a blasty blast and Mabs had herself a pretty good time (see the cute pink tiger below!)

The next weekend my dad came down for a visit. We headed out to Jax Beach on Saturday and hit the fishing pier. The day was BEAUTIFUL and there was an amazing breeze - what more could you ask for for a day at the beach! I love that here in FL, beach days continue well into Oct/Nov! We spent about an hour just hangin on the pier watchin all the fishermen (and women) haul up quite a variety of ocean life -- including a sting ray!! I wasn't able to react quick enough to get a pick, but it wasn't too big anyway so oh well. You all know what a sting ray is - remember the Croccodile Hunter? - so just google it if you wanna see a pic. After the pier we headed down to the sand to relax under my canopy. Because of the suppressed immune system and some of the meds I am on, my risk for skin cancer has risen CONSIDERABLY, so I hafta be super careful when out in the sun. For the first time since I was a little girl I am back to wearing sunscreen. Oh well...I can breathe. :) Chris and I took our usual three mile walk (we have a route established when we head to the beach for my workouts) and by the time we got back to mom and dad the sky had gotten pretty nasty so we rushed to pack it up and head in. All in all though - a pretty fab day!

 

 

 

 

Which brings us (finally) to this past weekend. Chris and I had every intention of making Saturday a lazy day. We were well on our way when mom called (she had headed out to run some errands, leaving us in bed late into the morning), letting us know that she had just found out that there was an airshow down at Jax Beach and that we should head out there cause, well it was on the beach, free, and who doesn't enjoy a good airshow! We got ourselves up and out to the beach in time for some really good times watching military and civilian planes alike flying past us, so close to wear we sat on the beach you could almost see what color eyes the pilots had! Some of the planes put on some awesome ariel acrobatic manuevers that I never thought a plane was possible of doin. It was awesome and a fantastic way to spend an afternoon.

 

 

 

 

Well, so thats about it. You're all caught up! Tomorrow is a long day over at Mayo. I'm in for the works - blood work, xrays, pfts, bronch, biopsy - so I'll prolly be out of comission most of the day. And starving. The blood and bronch requires fasting before, and my bronch isn't till the afternoon! By the time I finally get over the sedation itll be after 6 and I'll be good and famished by then! So, as I always do, I'll ask you for your prayers for tomorrow. Prayers for good results (increased pfts, clear xrays, and no rejection or infection!!) and that I am able to refrain from eating my hand or something. Also, I don't know if I have mentioned this before, but bronchs can be dangerous. I have a GREAT team of doctors here and I trust them completely. But they are human, and mistakes happen. Any time they go in and do a biopsy, there is a possiblity of a number of things going wrong. One thing is that when they cut the tissue for the biopsy they end up tearing a hole in the lung. Needless to say, thats not the GREATEST thing to happen to a recent lung transplant recipient. I really haven't thought much about the "risks" during all this, but this past week I was talking to the wife of another lung tx recipient who was actually just a few doors down from me while I was still in the hospital right after my surgery. She had told me that they had to go back to the hospital the week before because they punctured a hole in the guy's lung during his bronch!! UGH...I would be livid (assuming that the worst that happens). So please pray I leave tomorrow without a hole in my lungs! :)

Many thanks, as usual, goes out to all those who attended the Toss for Taylor cornhole tournament, the GGI Annual Golf Tournament, the Premier Jewelry party, and the Thirty One party, and a special thanks to those in charge of putting on each. The generosity of all of you continues to be a HUGE blessing to us. We could not be where we are with this recovery if it weren't for each one of you. We are continuously overwhelmed by all the love we are CONSTANTLY receiving. You all are in our prayers everyday. We hope you will be blessed by something or someone as much or more as we have been.

I'd also like to ask for your prayers for a few others who need them desperatley right now:

Leon Peel
Jane Lisk
and one unnamed request

Each of these people are fighting cancers of different kinds, at different stages. Please lift them all up in your prayers and the battle this TERRIBLE disease. Pray for healing and strength for them and their families. Please reach out to these families and express your love and support to them, as you have done to me and my family. The encouragement from friends, family - even strangers - means so much when battling something a disease that is so devasting in every way. Its truly what motivates you to fight.

Much love...xoxo

Erin

Three Weeks Post Transplant...

Well, its official.

I am three weeks post transplant. And so far - all is well.

That first week out of the hospital was pretty packed with meals out, trips to different stores to get things here at the apartment set up, and getting things I'll need for my rehab/recovery. This week was relatively quiet. A few short trips to different places, a few visitors - but mainly just a lot of time resting. I'm still fighting quite a bit of discomfort so there were a few days the pain got the better of me and I honestly didn't feel like doin much.

But then there were days like Saturday where we spent a few hours at the Riverside Arts Market near downtown.

Have I ever mentioned my slight obsession with farmers markets, flea markets, and just about all other kinds of "markets?" Well, lets just say its significant. It could be 100 degrees outside or hurricane force winds blowing and I'm goin.

I love goin to markets where there is a blend of produce, art, locally made cheeses and baked goods, jewelry - anything unique or hard to find outside of the market grounds. I love talking to the vendors. They are always so passionate about what they bring. One of my favorite vendors from Orlando, Argyle Gifts, was actually up here in Jacksonville this past weekend and I was so excited! I've purchased quite a few things from them over the years and I always love catching up with them to see their newest pieces. The specialize in creating jewelry, candleholders, wind chimes and other items from old silver serving peices. They frequent estate sales, thrift stores, garage sales, and buy online silver from all over the world, some new, some hundreds of years old. One of my favorite pieces if a baby spoon ring that I literally wear everyday. This past weekend my mom purchased a pair of earrings made from silverwear that had the most beautiful pattern on it. I can't remember exactly what he called it, but apparently it was the silver pattern of King Edward (?) before he abdicated the throne for some reason. (sorry I don't know my history LOL) Apparently, once he abdicated the throne they sold the pattern off and it began being reproduced, but not for royalty anymore. Or something like that. So, its got some cool history, even if my understanding of it is sorta iffy. Regardless, they are beautiful! And super unique - yay!








So after browsing the market, Mom and I buying some fantastic spoon jewelry, Chris loading up on locally made honey and a variety of locally made beef jerkey, we headed back to the apartment. Later that evening we had what my family affectionately refers to as a "Fam Jam" which basically is anytime more than about 3 of us get together at once. This evening, two of my cousins, my cousin's roommate, and my friend Amanda from Orlando came over for a spaghetti dinner. It was so much fun just to hang out, eat and relax for a while. Later that evening the boys left to head out for a few (much needed on Chris' part - bless him) beers, while Amanda stuck around the apartment and caught up.

Speaking of Chris, I want to take this opportunity to brag about my husband for a minute.

As most of you know, Chris and I have been together for going on 13 years  (5 years married this May). It wasn't long after we first got together that Chris found out about my cystic fibrosis. It wasn't something I kept a secret or anything, but it wasn't something we discussed a lot either - mainly cause I was so healthy it really never was on either of our minds much. It wasn't until college when I started getting sick that it became something we had to "deal" with. I'd be lying it I told you I wasn't sure how our marriage was gonna pan out early on. Not because I didn't love him, or doubted his love for me, but when your dealing with a chronic, terminal illness...well, it makes things difficult to say the least. Knowing that you or your spouse can/will die because of this illness at some point, and not knowing how soon/late that's going to be makes finding a balance tricky sometimes. It wasn't long after we got married that I could no longer work fulltime because of my constant illness. Going on disability at age 24 was humiliating for me. I felt like a huge drain on my family, my husband...everyone. I could work part time - at best - and my ability to be a great "housewife" was seriously lacking. For the last 4 years or so I have been plagued with guilt over the fact that our relationship felt SO one sided. Chris works 10-12 hour days almost everyday, rarely ever taking a day off. Anytime he takes a new position somewhere he goes through a process of making sure they offer wonderful insurance (for me mainly, since he hasn't been SICK in about 7 years), that he is guaranteed XX amount of pay to make sure that he is able to pay for ALL of our bills, and that he is withing XX miles of our house so that if he needs to get home to help me, he can get there quickly. When he comes home from his long days at work, he's the one that takes care of the dog, takes out the trash, vaccuums the house cause I physically can't, always helps me make sure I have my oxygen in whatever room I want to be camped out in, brings me drinks and food cause I am to short of breathe to make it to the kitchen to get it myself. He does most of the laundry and dishes. And hardly EVER complains. Don't get me wrong...he doesn't do it all with a smile, but I don't expect him to. Hell, I sometime WISH he'd be more upset about it. Cause let's be honest...I don't know if I'd be so nice about doing all that. I'm just not as selfless as he is, and thats just the truth.

Take the past three weeks. Chris has been absolutely AMAZING. He stayed all but ONE night at the hospital with me, and that was only because I insisted he go back to the hotel my parents were at just to get one good nights sleep. Nights at the hospital were not great. I was up, in incredible amounts of pain, every two hours. And everytime I woke up I would need him - to bring me something to drink, to help me move to a new position, to rub my back, shoulders, feet or whatever part of my body was in agony. And then there was the constant disruptions of any hospital - the IV alarms that go off when a med is done infusing or my pain med was almost out, the nurses coming in to take vitals every four hours, the xray techs that started rounds at 5am everyday, followed by the blood draws at 6am and the surgeon rounds at 7am. I don't know how he managed everyday. But he did. He was there, encouraging me, comforting me, helping me, and sometimes antagonizing me to work harder and walk further everyday. Its because of him that I am where I am in my recovery.

Its because of him that I am alive right now at all.

I know that when we got together he couldn't know the impact he would have on my life as this disease destroyed my body. I know that cause I didn't know either. I would have never expected someone to be there for me like he has been. I never thought that the thing that was literally destroying my body, would be the thing that would bring us and tie us together in such an unimaginable way. We've had a very tough last few years. But in these last three weeks....somehow all that makes sense now.
These years have forced me to learn to rely on someone other than myself. That was never something I was good at. I was always incredibly independent, never compromising on what I wanted, no matter what. It was my way or the highway. (And I mean that literally. I've actually kicked someone out of the car on the highway before because they refused to do as I said.) I am still not great at relying on help. Still not great at not having the final say, of the control over everything. Probably never will, which is why my relationship with a small anxiety medication will probably be for life. Ive took to it kicking and screaming, but honestly I didn't have a choice. I was dying, and I couldn't do it alone.

Enter Chris. My best friend and soul mate. May sound cheesy, but its true. We were meant for each other and its clearer to me now than its ever been. He was meant to help me through these last few years. I don't know why it had to be so difficult...probably because Im so stubborn it would take an absolute disaster to break through my thick head. But coming out the other side of this, my life seems to have a different perspective. I can finally become the wife I want to be. To have a marriage thats set on a more equal footing than it once was. I can get a job that actually pays a few bills. I can participate in household stuff (to some extent), maybe even have dinner ready when Chris comes home. I finally don't feel like a liability. You have no idea how excited I am for this new life. How excited I am to have a marriage that gives us both what we deserve.

Well, I think thats all for now. Tomorrow I head back to Mayo for my follow up visit after the labs and tests I had done today. I'll update you all on my current status tomorrow. Send up a prayer that the med adjustments we did last week have brought the mild rejection under control and that infection is still non-exisitent.
Have a great night...much love...
Erin